Low Calorie Spicy Chicken Over Rice aaaaand a little opening up about dieting and weight stuff..

So.. I FINALLY have decided I need to go on a diet again. And I feel the need to shpeal about my weight loss stuff..

I am not shy to say that I weigh 239.. it may seem like a TON to some people. But not all of us can be blessed with the skinny genes. I can honestly say that I looked my best when I weighed about 170 -180. I am big boned (honestly not trying to make myself feel better.. I have 7 inch wrists and a size 11 foot. You can even check to see if you really are big boned at this website I discovered  http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/imagepages/17182.htm) and I have very dense muscle. It is kind of sad to think that back in high school when I weighed 170 and looked like a hottie.. I thought I was fatter than all get out. And now weighing as much as I do, and having all my extra flappy mom skin from pregnancy.. I look in the mirror and actually love myself. I saw one of the most amazing quotes on Pinterest (all time favorite website) that said "If you don't love yourself before.. you won't love yourself after". I have no idea who said this quote, but I believe it more than anything. There was at one point in my high school life where I starved myself and would not eat for days on end. I was never diagnosed with anorexia.. but I lost an extreme amount of weight. I only weighed 140 (which was like NOTHIN for me.. I remember at this time I fit into a size 3 dress) and I looked sick and way way too thin (again for ME.. some people look BOMB at 140) and I would still look at myself and think I was too big.

At my wedding weighing 170-180

To be honest I have always had issues managing my weight. I can fluctuate 10 pounds in a few days just from eating something salty. When I got married I only weighed 170-180 (like I said I could fluctuate a lot). And by the time I had my first baby I weighed about 195-199. When I first hit the dreaded 200 my poor little heart just about broke. By the time I had my baby I weighed 270 pounds. I was horrified whenever I would jump on the scale and see the numbers. But at the same time I saw my beautiful baby boy and how perfect and amazing he was and looked at my body in a different way. I was willing to sacrifice my body for my cute little chubby boy (who weighed 9.7 at birth).

This

Where I am at now weighing 235..
this is also a very unflattering photo.
I am never wearing this outfit again...
it cuts my legs off....

is when I started trying to lose weight originally. I went from somewhere around 265 and actually got all the way down to 202. I was thrilled to be almost out of the 200s.. and then we went on a camping trip. I ate so much junk food and lazed about in the sun. And when we came home from our trip.. I continued eating junk. We had all kinds of Summer parties and what not. I remember weighing myself when I got pregnant with my daughter and I weighed 219. Yet again my heart was broken. I could only hope that I wouldn't gain 70 pounds again. Luckily I only gained about 15-20 pounds with my daughter. Now I have decided to lose the weight again. And I know that above I said that "if you don't love yourself now..  you won't love yourself after" (quoted by some unknown genius) and this is true. I do love myself now.. so I know I will be satisfied and love myself after. I am losing weight because.. honestly.. who wants to be over 200 pounds. And also.. its really hard to find cute clothes in XL and pants that are a size 16-18.

I know that people will probably read this and judge.. do what you will. If you are going to judge me by my weight and my opinion on my weight.. then you really have no place in my life ☺.

I am aware that my
blog is about food.. but I just wanted to make a quick shpeal about my weight dieting for anyone who cares. And for anyone that is reading this who has ever had major troubles with managing their weight.. you are SO not alone.

Anyways.. I came up with this dish tonight and was very very very happy with how it came out. It tasted amazing and only had 370 calories! I have realized with me that if things tend to be super super flavory (yes made up word) or really spicy then I tend to feel like I don't need to eat quite as much. So I figured a spicy chicken dish would be perfect.

Anyways.. enough chit chat.. lets get to the good stuff!

This made about 3 servings (of the chicken with the sauce.. the rice only made 2 servings). It fed my husband, me, and one serving for leftovers.

Ingredients:

• ½ cups of rice (dry)
• 9-10 chicken breast tenderloins (thawed)
• 3 roma tomatoes
• ½ of a white onion
• 1 Tbsp olive oil
• slightly heaping ½ tsp of cayenne powder
• 1 ½ tsp cajun seasoning
• 1 heaping tsp of powdered chicken bullion powder
• 1 cup of water

Instructions:

1. First.. get your rice cooking. You will be serving your other stuff on top of it.
2. Chop up your onions and tomatoes and throw them in a skillet with your olive oil. Get them cooking on Med-High heat for a moment. Add your seasonings and chicken and mix well until the chicken is nice and coated. 
3. Add your water (cold or hot... doesn't matter) and cover your skillet with a lid for 5 minutes.
4. Take off the lid and kick up the heat to High and, stirring occasionally, cook for an additional 10 minutes.
5. At this point a lot of the water should have evaporated and you should have a sort of sauce with  your tomatoes and onions. If it is still too watery.. just cook it on high heat for couple more minutes and it should thicken up.
6. Serve 3 tenderloins on top of rice with tomatoes and onions and the delicious sauce that it made!

Not only did this taste EPIC but honestly only 370 for a whole bowl of this stuff.